Baby I'm a Rock Star

We have the American Idol game for the Wii. Essentially, this is karaoke at home (with the computer versions of the three American Idol judges) and I have to say it's a fun, albeit high-pressure way for Vaughn to practice reading. Plus, if you set it to "easy" it's pretty much a given that you're going to be rated Gold or Platinum (although I did manage to get my rendition of a Depeche Mode song ended early by the judges. Twice). This forgiving rating system is very affirming for Vaughn and he takes his high ratings as a sign that he must be a most excellent singer since "I barely even know the words!" He's even started to add bonus elements like "WOO!" and "Yeah!" in the beginning of songs when they are cuing up.

Unfortunately, in addition to a singing style that consists of mostly shouting the words, he also sticks to a very predictable line up that includes Life Is a Highway, 867-5309 (the "Jenny" song) and Eye of the Tiger. The crown jewel in the repertoire is Vacation by the Go-Gos. Vacation is sung over and over and other songs are really just filler in a long-running soundtrack of Vacation on repeat. I love the Go-Gos and at first I couldn't have been more happy with this but now it's a little maddening. Still, it's all pretty adorable and I really wish he'd let me videotape him more. All videos have to be taken very surreptitiously.

Even the Wii has apparently had enough of Vacation as Vaughn finished up the latest round to have a message appear that said, "Try a new song! Maybe you'll find a new favorite!"

**Update: The favorite song has switched now to Eye of the Tiger and has been memorized so that it can be sung outside of playing Wii. He will sing it with or without the Survivor video playing in the background. One morning I think we heard it ten times before we left for school. Whenever my brain is having "quiet time" - Eye of the Tiger is there.

Blowin in the Wind

Vaughn loves playing "Monster" with Jacob. This game is nothing more than them beating each other with couch pillows which allows them to act stereotypically male and I get to come around behind like the stereotypical female and say things like, "Watch the vase!" and "Can you please put the couch back together when you are done?"

At any rate, Monster also involves coming up with their WWF-style names. Sten was spending the night tonight and Vaughn explained that in the game his name was typically "Rock Baby" or "Muscles" but that Sten could be anything - even Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan? In the end, in true Vaughn and Sten fashion, they settled on Muscles and Muscles 2.

Cocoon

Times are not easy on one foot. I am terribly bored and feel very restless and isolated. I'm frustrated that I can't be out enjoying this unseasonably dry weather (which, I guess I should be thankful for since when it starts raining I'll be hauling myself around with a plastic bag attached by rubber bands over my foot). It has made me anxious and suddenly everything that is out of place in our house seems to be mocking me. Consequently I'm overdoing it and my foot hurts and swells a little more than it should.

Yesterday Jacob took me to Powell's to get a new book since the one I had gotten just before the surgery was boring. Powell's was crowded and it filled me with great joy to watch people jump to get out of my way and apologize unnecessarily. It reminded me of being very pregnant but better because people cannot always be counted on to move out of the way of the very pregnant (probably because they sense our smugness). Anyway- all was well until I started to feel nauseous from standing so long and felt an urgent need to be done and out of there. We were on our way out when Jacob stopped to talk to someone he knew working there. Standing behind him, I gave him the "can we please go" sign by nudging him with the bottom of my crutch on his leg. I would have done the same thing with a discrete foot nudge had I had the ability to nudge with my foot. Well, suffice it to say that being nudged with inanimate objects seems to fall in a different category - one that some may categorize as "rude" - but we're beyond that now.

Last night I hopped in the middle of the night into the bathroom on my one good foot only to hop into a puddle of pee (cat? dog?) on the bathroom floor. Like I said- life on one foot has not been easy.

The picture is a fantasy I had of cocooning until my foot heals. I also seem to be cold all the time from lack of activity.

A Bloody Mess

Today is the day of my second foot surgery and tensions are high. Partly because I can't eat or drink anything and partly because Jacob keeps tackling me in an effort to get me to relax (which seems to have the opposite effect). Mostly though, I'm worried because I broke the rules and took Ibuprofen within the last week. Ibuprofen has the potential to act as a blood thinner and so you aren't supposed to take it for a full week before any surgery. Last week I had a cold and my head hurt so I broke down and maybe four or six over the course of two days. This wouldn't concern me but on Saturday (Sunday?) I had a headache again and broke down and took two more. I don't want to fess up because I'm afraid they'll postpone the actual surgery regardless of what the actual risk is. This morning I got up at 7 am to try and do a little on-line research via Yahoo Answers - which naturally can be trusted since anyone can log on and throw their own two cents in the arena of medical advice. I'm not afraid I'll die - just that it will be a bloody mess and obvious that I lied. Jacob thinks all will be fine since, as he reminded me, I did the exact same thing last time and had all the same concerns. So much from learning from your mistakes.

**Update: I'm out of surgery and everything went fine. Mostly I'm just cranky not from pain but from inconvenience. I get a lot of satisfaction from "kicking" at things with my crutches - I imagine old people with canes find this very satisfying too.

**Chinese Hieroglyphics on my foot instruct the doctor on which foot to cut up.

Kickin' You When You're Down

My eyelid drooped tonight. Just as I was leaving Natasha's birthday dinner I was very cognizant that the upper part of my eyelid was sticking to my lower eyelid. That's a sign your face is falling - sliding. And on the eve of my bunion surgery no less. Kind of like an extra "fuck you" from the aging process. Jacob acted like he had no idea what I was talking about but I knew. This is one of the main things people get plastic surgery for - wide eyes is a sign of youth. Now I'm slumpy - like a basset hound. The only thing that keeps me sane is looking at the website awfulplasticsurgery.com a website dedicated to mocking celebrities with their bad plastic surgery. If those poor bastards with all their money can't end up looking decent what options remain for the rest of us? It's artfully contoured eye make up from here on out.

** I love this image. I love how the non-aged face is "normal."

Switching Gears

Today at lunch Vaughn suggested that if Jacob and I wouldn't have another baby he would get his own - via Santa of course! I said Santa doesn't bring babies (kind of like they don't bring mechanical toys at Kahmali's house) but Vaughn dismissed this with an optimistic "you never know." I said, "What about a punching bag?" but he still felt that a baby would be better. Rather than trying to change the subject I decided to pursue this a little further - why, exactly did he want a baby. Turns out he thinks that babies can be trained to wash dishes. What is so hilarious about this is that it is not as though Vaughn is expected to wash dishes or do really much of anything around here so I'm not sure if he was hoping to replace his current workload or what. Anyway-in the end he said it was that he "really just wanted the cuteness."

**As a side note I've remarked to Jacob that I find it awfully interesting that somehow I'm the only one who has to deal with Vaughn's babylust. He never brings it up to Jacob.

Round Two

Today I went in for my pre-op appointment for my second bunion surgery. I got into the waiting room and it was small and crowded and filled with ill-behaved children (actually just two but they take up more space). I had only been there for three minutes when a lone purse sitting on a chair had a phone go off inside. The ringtone was Katy Perry's wretched song, I Kissed A Girl. Apparently the owner was in the doctor's office and just left her purse in the waiting room. The ringtone played the entire song - or at least a good two-thirds of it. I didn't even know you could get ringtones that long! It ended and then one minute later started up again. There was an older couple sitting a few seats down and the man turned to the woman next to him (presumably his wife) and asked (hopefully?), "Is that your purse?" It was not. At that point I got up and walked into the hallway dividing the two waiting rooms. I could not make eye contact with the fellow patients while that song was playing. My timing was right because it started up again.

The appointment was fairly routine and, since this was my second surgery, I knew the drill. I was disheartened to hear I won't be given the option of the dissolvable screw this time since Kaiser decided to stop dealing with the company that makes them. Also, when I asked if I could get one of those plastic coverings that would allow me to take a shower instead of flopping into the bath with my leg hanging out I was told that they weren't offered and if I needed to keep my foot dry I should wrap it in Saran Wrap and stick several plastic bags over it. I find this particularly insulting since, as I pointed out, I had seen a poster for these leg coverings the last time I came to get sized for my crutches.

As is Kaiser's way I had to sit for a really long time in the waiting room but I came I way with this awesome picture of my X-Ray. I sent it to my brother on the way home and was texted back, "Gross. What is that?"

** So the little round lump to the right of my big toe is actually a bone that floats in the tendon running under your foot. Normally it is under the larger bone that is jutting out to the left on my foot. They'll cut the bone through right under where the bunion is, rotate the bone, pin it back so it is straight and shave off any extra material. I'll be left with a much more aligned foot and a scar to match the left.