Keep to the Code

Sometimes I find myself looking forward to the end of the belief in Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy. This is mostly because it can be very confusing as parents are always mixing it up. There should be rules - maybe as a standard appendix in the back of baby books. For instance, just when I thought a dollar had become the gold standard for a lost tooth, the Tooth Fairy had to go and bring Sten a whopping FOUR Dollars (true- he lost his first tooth a good year and a half after most kids lose their first but still). Then Vaughn told me that he wanted the Tooth Fairy to start bringing him Pokemon cards. I explained that the Tooth Fairy only trafficked in dollars but apparently she does bring his friend Harman Pokemon cards. Kahmali's family seems to have a rule that Santa doesn't bring "electronic presents" which, while quaint, is going to be difficult to explain when other classmates are discussing their new Nintendo DS systems courtesy of the North Pole.

I also don't like the way that Vaughn is devising ways to scam the system. Like asking Santa to bring him the entire drawer of Pokemon cards he saw hidden behind the counter at Rite Aid. As though Santa were a magical partner in crime. After he saw the Rite Aid treasure trove he scribbled out a note to Santa and put it by the exposed chunk of old chimney in our kitchen despite the fact it does not lead to any actual fireplace. The worst part about this note though was that it was asking Santa for "The World's Most Powerful Pokemon". Now I don't even know what that would be and it's not like Pokemon Corp. will make it easy to aquire. I think Santa may have to write a note explaining the evils of big corporations. Or maybe he'll write a story of a little girl in Poland who only had one Pokemon card but love in her heart. At any rate, this might be the last year Santa comes through. Tonight at dinner while playing the guessing game Taboo, the answer was "The Abomidable Snowman" and my clue was "He's not real and lives somewhere cold" and Jacob blurted out "Santa!" You can only cover for that kind of misstep for so long.

Hmmm....

Sometimes Vaughn says questionable things like, "Where does daddy keep all his money?" and I worry. But then I find out that he just wants to know where to put the money he owes him for Pokemon cards and I feel good again. Yesterday he said, "On this day the dog will pay" which sounds bad but he gets pretty defensive when I discipline the dog so I think we're okay.

I found out today there is an entire wiki site for Pokemon! If you are old enough to understand and navigate a wiki site aren't you too old for Pokemon? It must be sort of like the Eagle Scouts of the toy world. It's also called Bulbipedia - which makes no sense to me but very few things about Pokemon do. I felt bad today because Vaughn asked me for the millionth time to compare two Pokemon and tell him which one I liked best. I was cranky and so I said, "Vaughn I really don't care that much about Pokemon" and he was sad and then said, "Daddy likes it." Jacob: 1 Leslie: 0

Oh the hair

Vaughn has great hair. It is thick and slightly curly and comes straight from his dad. Unfortunately, for the longest time, he's also had a very strange haircut. It all started when he decided to grow it out and so I got the idea to cut the sides thinking he could have some sort of cool, longer mohawk. It never really looked mohawkish though and instead looks like some sort of mullet that has long hair in the front as well as the back. He refuses to let us cut it and I know some day he'll look back on pictures and be horrified that we let him go around with this haircut. For now, though, I think I'd be happy to just have him stop chewing on it.

Vaughn is Mystery Training

Jacob pulled in tonight with Vaughn and he immediately announced that he was going upstairs "to play." I was downstairs fixing dinner when I heard persistent banging upstairs. I went upstairs to find out what was going on and it turned out he was kicking a mattress that had been stacked against the wall.

What are you doing?
Kicking.
Yes, I see that. Ummmm...why?
For fun.
Okay. Ummmm...are you training for something?
No.
Okay - are you kicking for fun or are you kicking because you are mad?
Kicking for fun.

I decided to let him have space and go downstairs. Pretty soon he was calling down for a clue as to where the jump rope might be. I think he might be exercising by jumping on the bed now because there is a whole lot of squeaking happening. Why this sudden need to cross-train? I'm not sure how confident I feel that the motives are health related. I just hope I don't get a call from the school that Rocky busted someone in the shin.

Pumpkin Patch

Last weekend we did our annual trip out to the pumpkin patch on Sauvie Island which always starts with a trip to the animal barn. The animal barn is always a let down as most of the pens stand empty and the animals are never very impressive. This year however, was downright depressing. The goat turned it's head to reveal a jaw marked by what appeared to be two golf ball sized tumors and the mini-horse stood in the corner the entire time with its head down and its back to us.

Vaughn and Sten Write a Song

Vaughn's class had a roller skating party at the community center last Saturday and the song list, as developed by the class, ranged from the classic-albeit-a-tad-bit-juvenile (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) to the clearly-influenced-by-parents (My Generation) to the not-quite-appropriate (Katy Perry's Hot and Cold). That last gem was provided by Vaughn and as the person in charge of providing the playlist CD, Jacob had to download the karaoke version to get a version that didn't include swearing. While she is likely to be soon forgotten, Vaughn will be able to cite Katy Perry as one of his earliest influences. I came across these song lyrics that he said he co-wrote with Sten:

You used to be
Hot and Boring
Now you are like
Nothing I've ever seen
Like a rock in the ocean

Annalee pointed out that Vaughn had probably been the main driver for the racy lyrics since, after all, he had been the one who was once overheard telling Sten to envision "a princess dancing on the beach in her bikini." I was surprised that at this tender age he's already realized that most hot people are boring.

Going out of (Chicken) Business

Recently, a 75 year old woman was attacked by a gang of raccoons she was trying to scare off her front porch. The poor woman fell and was, as one medic described, "filleted." Personally, I've always thought of raccoons as really adorable - like an urban bear - despite knowing that they really are vicious sonsofbitches. I get sort of excited when I see one in the city as though I really were seeing a bear in the city instead of something that is only slightly more unique than a squirrel.

Last night the raccoons that have squatted in my neighbor's tree came back for two of our last three chickens. We went out early in the evening and neglected to lock up their coop since it was just dinner time. By the time we returned, it was all over - although I didn't realize this until I went to open the coop this morning and there was only poor, tiny Muffy Fluffy left. Sad, small Muffy Fluffy who lived through last winter's storm and has now witnessed FIVE chicken deaths.

Cleaning up disemboweled chickens first thing in the morning is no picnic but I consoled myself by telling myself that this is what is required to make it in the urban/rural environment. I was taking care of my homestead - like a rugged pioneer woman. Plus, I worried the left over parts would begin to smell and the neighbors might complain.

Speaking of neighbors, I gather a few of them rushed over after hearing a "horrible screaming" to throw rocks at the raccoons and attempt to keep the chickens safe. Something we were too lazy/spacey/inept to do. I saw one neighbor walking with his daughter tonight and I imagined the teaching moment, It's very important that if you own animals you keep them safe.

Later that evening I helped a woman I found on CraigsList load Muffy Fluffy into her car to go live on her farm and it only stung a little bit when she said, "We like to take rescues because we like to see the look on their faces when they realize they've come to paradise." Mostly I felt happy for Muffy Fluffy and relieved. We were officially out of the chicken business - for now.